Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Top Country Song Titles



GRAMMY WINNERS: TOP 12 COUNTRY SONGS FOR 2006

12) I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine

11) It's Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day

10) If the Phone Don't Ring; You'll Know It's Me

9) I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well

8) I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

7) I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

6) I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

5) I'm So Miserable Without You, It's like You're Still Here

4) If I Had Shot You When I First wanted To; I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now

3) My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him

2) She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger



...and the Number 1 Country Song is:

1) I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With Ugly Women, But I've Sure Woke Up With a Few

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

How about "Daddy's drinking up our Christmas" by Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen?

Anonymous said...

Big C!

Too funny. Those are real songs??? Good one.

CaptiousNut said...

Daddy's Drinking Up Our Christmas

That's a real song and it's great!

Here are the lyrics to #1:

I've served my time losing track of the wine
Looking through red eyes at the blues
Holding on til the very last song
Trying to make up my mind who to choose.

Chasing a dream in a whisky world
Down the neon avenue
Ah, I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

Ain't it funny how liquor and the flicker
Of a candle make you see it from a different view
Oh, I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

I've met more than one morning lying there
Groaning, crying "Lord what did I do?"
Hangin' my head as I slipped from her bed
Trying hard not to leave any clues.

When I start out the evening I'm being selective
But I'll take anything after two
No, I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

Ain't it funny how liquor and the flicker
Of a candle make you see it from a different view
Oh I've never gone to bed with an ugly women
But I've sure woke up with a few.

No, I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman
But I sure woke up with a few...


Number 12 is a real song too. They might very well all be. In this inane world, we don't have to make stuff up to laugh.

Anonymous said...

Daddy's drinking up our Christmas,
Going to be some hard times this year,
No tree or stockings or presents.
Just bottles of Christmas cheer

No new Frigidaire for Mama,
No toy train for brother Jim,
Daddy's drinkin' up our Christmas,
Don't know what's gonna become of him

Quit his job last Friday
Cashed his last paycheck and Ma ain't seen a cent
The cupboards are empty
The phone's cut off
Where we going to come up with the rent?

We haven't seen Daddy for two days and nights
Tommy's Pa said he saw him at the track
Daddy lay down that bottle if you hear my prayer
Mama and me want you back.

Got a call from the sheriff
Said Dad wrecked the family car
They arrested him and threw him in the tank
We'll get you out Christmas morning if we can raise the bail
Daddy please don't take another drink

Daddy's drinking up our Christmas
Going to be no happy new year
No tree or stockings or presents
Just bottles of Christmas cheer.

No new Frigidaire for Mama,
No toy train for brother Jim,
Daddy's drinkin' up our Christmas,
Don't know what's gonna become of him
Daddy's drinkin' up our Christmas,
Don't know what's gonna become of him

CaptiousNut said...

Thanks, Anon! Long song!